even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize