totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
