Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
