He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
