It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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