Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
