i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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