Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
