I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
whose parrot is this?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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