I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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