Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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