Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
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