What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize