Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
