If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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