I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
