i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
