two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The struggles of a small town man whore
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