I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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