you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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