when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
