If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
