FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
