STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
