if i died would you start the facebook group?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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