Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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