I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
