don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
