i can't believe i had my finger in that
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
