thus making me awesome and them whores
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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