yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every concussion has its silver lining
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize