so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
