I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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