I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Randomize
