Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
