I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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