You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
