help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
