Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
