I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
