i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
