I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize