his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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