you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
