Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
