I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
try to milk me bitch
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize