She said her name was "party"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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