Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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