I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
