Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
