By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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