Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
