And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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