I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
