He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
