Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
