Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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