So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize