What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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