i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
