So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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