i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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