I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
