you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
