So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
