Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We don't watch enough power rangers
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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