It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
