as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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