You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
