Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
